Not like anyone refusing to read subtitles will end up reading this but here goes nothing!
I have yet to watch Parasite and so do many others. In my case, there’s no particular reason as to why I haven’t seen it yet. In other people’s cases, it’s the fact that the movie should be watched with subtitles. The reason that I bring this up is that when it won the Oscars, its director famously stated “Once you overcome the 1-inch-tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.”
This is something that should go without saying but is sadly not the norm and then sparked a lot of outrage online. Because people felt like they were being attacked when told to open their mind and broaden their horizons. I don’t know how that works but I suspect neither do they. And quite frankly, this isn’t a one-time incident but rather a recurring event I keep seeing every month anew on the great redundant outrage pushing website that is twitter dot com where last week’s big thing to be pissed about will return in three weeks anew except the faces change when the drama repeats.
This entire subtitle “discourse” (is it really that when it’s just one side throwing a tantrum?) is annoying and unproductive so usually I wouldn’t comment on it but if there’s one thing that makes it downright dishonest and questionable (and thus worth commenting on), it’s the insane excuses people come up with when they feel they need to make a case for themselves. And I’m getting sick and tired of these lame excuses wherein you always portray yourselves as some sort of victims and the mean Internet bullies want to radically alter your lifestyle or something. I swear, play the drinking game whenever you hear one of these bullshit reasons:
“Oh yeah? But what about people with special disabilities that prevent them from reading things properly? I mean, I couldn’t name three when put on the spot, I’m not one of them and I don’t know any of them and look, I’m just trying to use the disabled as a shield so I don’t have to make an attempt at anything because they literally can’t and I can also look morally superior in the process even though I usually don’t give a shit about anyone disabled so can we all agree I’ve already won the great debate here?”
“After a long day of work, reading is clearly too exhausting for me. How I manage to function like a proper human being and perform other even slightly more complex tasks considering that’s about the least stressful thing ever? I DON’T KNOW! THIS IS SO STRESSFUL ALREADY, HELP!”
“Subtitles? This is time for me to self-diagnoze myself with ADHD!”
“I’m not lazy, illiterate, part of the lowest common denominator and averse to other languages – I’m just your average American! I don’t need anything other than English!”
“Subtitles are too fast for me even though they’re on the screen as long as it takes for the characters to finish their lines and spoken text is way slower than written one so when I say this it probably means I can’t even read at the speed of listening comprehension and I’m therefore severely impaired. Huh.”
Man, most of these range from intellectually lazy to morally reprehensible.
Also, what’s it with the weeb insults when you apply some standards to watching anime. Nobody complains when I watch The Sopranos or The Wire in their original language, English. But the moment it’s anime, OH NO, TOO FAR, NONONO, WEEB ALERT. And when it’s Japanese video games, they expect me to settle for an English dub when there’s no dual audio even though I’m a German so why wouldn’t I naturally prefer a German one in that case? Are Americans just kinda absolutely ignorant and self-absorbed? What’s the line of reasoning here? “NOOOO, DON’T WATCH THINGS IN THAT FOREIGN LANGUAGE, WATCH IT IN MINE INSTEAD REEEEE”
Just admit that you like it when I watch something in your language despite it not being my own but hate it when I watch things in a different language. It’s okay to be xenophobic on the Internet these days!
Experiencing media as it was originally intended to be to the best of your abilities (just to counter the obligatory “oh well then you need to learn its original language haha i win this debate kbye ;)” non-argument) should be something to strive for, not fear, disdain or avoid because it might be slightly uncomfortable at first. I kid you not, this topic makes grown adults act like kids the moment they’re told to first drive without training wheels. “Driving without training wheels? That’s like taking my rights away! I’d rather throw myself head-first into on-going traffic!” If only.
It’s so bad people even defend the fucking Yu-Gi-Oh! dub, one of the worst atrocities to have hit the localization process. Well, localization can be its own bag of worms with localizers doing this entire shtick on twitter about how localization is a complicated art form that none of the rest of us would ever understand so let’s not ever criticize the professionals and let them go back to work where they can replace genuine dialogue with “THE CAKE IS A LIE XD” or some such. But I digress.
Look. This is the Internet and (probably) a free country. It’s legal to do all of this, nobody’s going to stop you. You’re free to bath in your own piss, eat with your hands, wear a dunce hat and flaunt your low IQ at any given moment. That’s all on you.
Just don’t expect the rest of us to be understanding for your failings.